Jenna O Gets Paid, Becomes Materialist Consumer All About Them Phat Stacks That Shall Make it Rain
I, Jenna O, of Dubious Internet Fame, (and Real Life Art Star) resolve right now, with gods, men, and other irrelevant characters as my witnesses, that this latest update to the Medium terms of whatever partner program thing I’m attempting to be a part of now…
Written groggily and clumsily on a three-day bender whilst trying to drink the pain away of a recent break up.
(Did anyone come out the other side of 2020 unscathed?)
(Is there anyone out there not traumatized?)
(Are you at least entertained?)
No?
Well…tell me what you want to read about, I shall endeavor to write about it, you will give me monetary rewards for the toil I have imbued this second-rate copy, and we will all go home happy to cry alone at night again.
I wonder how live streaming works.
I need friends.
I should reach out.
Why don’t you?
Drop me a line, let me know which direction you want my account to go in, and I will submissively submit to your writing desires.
Come on, be my Writing Daddy.
Give me guidance.
Give me respect.
Give me a tip.
Eff you, pay me.
I thought I had a website where one could buy my art, but that is not working, so we are going to crank this money train up to…eleven.
It’s gonna be krunked and twerked in here.
These are all real words I am using I swear Grammarly crapped out a few “shiznits” ago.
Yeah, I was an English major.
And yeah, I dropped out for medical reasons.
Now, pay my tuition, chumps!
Very slowly.
Painfully.
SOMEONE COME GIVE ME MONEY TO PAY MY DEBTS SO MY POOR IMMIGRANT MOTHER DOES NOT HAVE TO SUPPORT MY GROWN ASS.
Ahem.
I mean I thank you all for the love and support and look forward to becoming more active in the Medium Writing Community, and writing content-full click bait articles you did not know you needed until you read them.
Thanks, bye!
Hand claps! Upvotes! Please!
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Please…
I need this.
